AN ACTOR’S RESUME CAN SOMETIMES LOOK A LITTLE SCARY
In the past the horror genre was always viewed as the red-headed stepchild of the film industry. Slasher films, movie monsters, and scream queens have generally brought upon snickers and down-the-nose glances from Hollywood’s elite. It wasn’t until the unprecedented success of Silence of the Lambs in 1991 that it became fashionable to take on a flick that goes bump in the night. But the truth is, the who’s who of Hollywood have been landing roles in horror long before it was trendy to terrify.
And so begins a three part series showcasing the scary work of some of today’s biggest names in cinema. Some of these films you may have heard of and some will just downright surprise you. We begin with the first seventeen.
Long before Amy started turning in stellar performances in such films as Junebug, The Fighter, and American Hustle, she started building her resume with smaller roles like the piece of crap one she landed in Psycho Beach Party.
Spoof of 1960’s Beach Party/Gidget surfing movies mixed with slasher horror films. Florence Forrest is a not-so-innocent girl in 1960’s Malibu who becomes “Chicklet,” the first girl surfer at Malibu Beach. Only Florence suffers from dissociative identity disorder and occasionally her alter ego Ann Bowman, a sexually aggressive, foul-speaking girl comes out. During that time several beach goers are found murdered. The suspects include Chicklet herself, surfer Kanaka, B-horror film actress Bettina Barnes, exchange student Lars, and even Chicklet’s own mother. [Matthew Patay – IMDB]
An honorable mention should also go to Amy’s appearances in episodes of the TV series, Charmed (as Maggie Murphy in Murphy’s Luck), and Buffy the Vampire Slayer (as Cousin Beth in Family).
Now that Mr. Affleck has a couple of shiny Oscars on his mantel, he can start to forget about some of the poorer choices listed on his filmography (I’m looking at you Gigli).
A mousy office worker accidentally kills one of her coworkers, then proceeds to bump off a few others. [IMDB]
150 dead and 350 missing in the tiny mountain town of Snowfield, Colorado. And that’s only the beginning…[IMDB]
Most film aficionados are aware of this little gem since it’s gone on to become a cult horror classic. By the time the sequel rolled around, she was already hanging around with a new set of Friends.
An evil, sadistic Leprechaun goes on a killing rampage in search of his beloved pot of gold. [IMDB]
Bacon’s past horror career was sizzlin’ (see what I did there…’cause of the bacon), starring in five different scary stories; one of which is one of the most famous slasher films ever to hit the silver screen. [IMDB]
Camp counselors are stalked and murdered by an unknown assailant while trying to reopen a summer camp that was the site of a child’s drowning. [IMDB]
[TV Movie] A young boy is taken over by demons who force him to commit murder. [IMDB]
Natives of a small isolated town defend themselves against strange underground creatures which are killing them one by one. [IMDB]
Medical students bring themselves near death; their experiment begins to go awry. [IMDB]
After being hypnotized by his sister in law, a man begins seeing haunting visions of a girl’s ghost and a mystery begins to unfold around her. [IMDB]
Ms. Bullock had to build quite an extensive resume before earning the title of “America’s Sweetheart”. But this remake of George Sluizer’s original 1988 Dutch film didn’t do much to win over audiences.
The boyfriend of an abducted woman never gives up the search as the abductor looks on. [IMDB]
Cage has an impressive resume by sheer volume alone, starring in over seventy films. However, only two of them fit into the horror category, and one of them has earned the reputation as being one of the worst remakes ever made.
After an encounter with a neck-biter, a publishing executive thinks that he’s turning into a vampire. [IMDB]
A sheriff investigating the disappearance of a young girl from a small island discovers there’s a larger mystery to solve among the island’s secretive, neo-pagan community. [IMDB]
Before he was the Man of Steel, before he was Immortal, he was Mike and Evan. Who? Yeah, that’s what I said.
Gamers play a MMORPG based on the “Hellraiser” franchise find their lives endangered after being invited to a rave whose host intends to show them the truth behind the Cenobite mythos. [IMDB]
A man and his brother on a mission of revenge become trapped in a harrowing occult experiment dating back to the Third Reich. [IMDB]
Although Jessica Chastain is more well-known for single handedly capturing and killing Osama bin Laden [cheers Jessica!], her resume shows she’s completed some far scarier missions.
[TV Movie] IMDB doesn’t have much on this made-for-television film, other than it was based on the TV show of the same name that ran from 1966-1971. The synopsis for the series reads: The rich Collins family of Collinsport, Maine is tormented by strange occurrences. [IMDB]
Annabel and Lucas are faced with the challenge of raising his young nieces that were left alone in the forest for five years…but how alone were they? [IMDB]
The dapper and charming George Clooney has been around since the 80’s so you know he’s got a nice padding of crap on his resume. And oh what gleeful crap it is. It also appears he likes to make films where we must return to something.
A few years ago, a mysterious serial-killer caused panic on Crippen High School. The killer was never caught. A movie company, Cosmic Pictures, has decided to make a feature movie about these events – on location, at the now abandoned school. Since members of cast and crew disappear without a trace, it seems as if history is repeating itself. [Mattias Thuresson – IMDB]
Crazy old Professor Gangreen has developed a way to make tomatoes look human for a second invasion. [IMDB]
Two criminals and their hostages unknowingly seek temporary refuge in an establishment populated by vampires, with chaotic results. [IMDB]
Bradley’s career took off in 2009, but his resume dates back ten years prior. He had to put in some scream time before giving the biggest boost to Vegas’ tourism since The Rat Pack and the $3.99 all-you-can-eat buffet.
Five young people apply to live in an isolated house together for six months whilst their every move is filmed by numerous cameras. The prize – $1 million. The rules – if one person leaves, everyone loses. What dark secret does the house harbor that leaves them feeling as though they’re being watched by more than just a million pairs of eyes? [Momentum Pictures – IMDB]
A New York photographer hunts down a serial killer. [IMDB]
A social worker fights to save a girl from her abusive parents, only to discover that the situation is more dangerous than she ever expected. [IMDB]
Yes, even Tommy boy has cut his [vampire] teeth in the horror genre. But unlike a good portion of the members on this list, Tom’s frightful film was actually pretty good, and he doesn’t really have anything to be ashamed of [unlike that whole Scientology thing].
A vampire tells his epic life story: love, betrayal, loneliness, and hunger. [IMDB]
De Niro has been a part of some amazing films. I would like to tell you that he’s also made some crappy horror films, but De Niro seems like the kinda guy that could have me whacked, so I’ll just leave it as, De Niro has been a part of some amazing films.
When Victor Frankenstein rejects the artificial man he just created, the monster escapes and later swears revenge. [IMDB]
A couple agrees to have their deceased son cloned under the supervision of an enigmatic doctor, but bizarre things start to happen years after his rebirth. [IMDB]
As a widower tries to piece together his life in the wake of his wife’s suicide, his daughter finds solace – at first – in her imaginary friend. [IMDB]
Johnny Depp ties Kevin Bacon with five fantastically frightening films. In fact Depp’s first feature film was the stuff of nightmares.
In the dreams of his victims, a spectral child murderer stalks the children of the members of the lynch mob that killed him. [IMDB]
Freddy Krueger returns once again to haunt both the dreams of his daughter and Springwood’s last surviving teenager. [IMDB]
In Victorian Era London, a troubled clairvoyant police detective investigates the murders by Jack The Ripper. [IMDB]
The infamous story of Benjamin Barker, a.k.a. Sweeney Todd, who sets up a barber shop down in London which is the basis for a sinister partnership with his fellow tenant, Mrs. Lovett. Based on the hit Broadway musical. [IMDB]
Imprisoned vampire, Barnabas Collins, is set free and returns to his ancestral home, where his dysfunctional descendants are in need of his protection. [IMDB]
This is one of my favorites on this list. This name, associated with this film, is just, well, brilliant. Also, some of you may wonder why Shutter Island is absent from this list. IMDB officially lists Shutter Island as a Mystery Thriller, so therefore it did not meet the requirements.
The tiny fur ball aliens that will eat anything or anyone set their sights on a Los Angeles apartment tower. [IMDB]
Jr.’s only been in one film that’s been classified as horror. I don’t know why that’s so disappointing to me.
A ghost story in which a repressed female psychiatrist wakes up as a patient in the very asylum where she worked with no memory of why she is there and what she has done. [IMDB]
Finding out that Clint Eastwood had two crazy creep shows to his credit, just made my day. [I apologize, that was just terrible.]
The Creature from the Black Lagoon is back! This time he’s captured by scientists and transported to an aquarium in south Florida. Naturally, he’s attracted to the lovely female scientist and manages to escape and kidnap her, heading to Jacksonville, presumably to catch a Jaguars game. [Jonah Falcon – IMDB] […um, look Jonah, I make the jokes around here, okay?]
A spider escapes from an isolated desert laboratory experimenting in gigantism and grows to tremendous size as it wreaks havoc on the local inhabitants. [IMDB]
Jesse’s resume rounds out part one of this three part series. Two of his horror flicks are just as awkward as most of the characters he plays. But I’m willing to forgive quite a bit since he does star in one of the best zombie films ever made [and yes, his character is awkward in that one too].
A werewolf loose in Los Angeles changes the lives of three young adults, who, after being mauled by the beast, learn they must kill their attacker if they hope to change their fate to avoid becoming werewolves too. [IMDB]
A shy student trying to reach his family in Ohio; a gun-toting tough guy trying to find the Last Twinkie; a pair of sisters trying to get to an amusement park, all join forces to travel across a zombie-filled America. [IMDB]
Evil invades a children’s spiritual retreat. [IMDB]
Be sure to check back next Friday for part two of the series. We’ll shine a light on the evil resume spawn of the likes of Matthew Mcconaughey, Scarlett Johansson, and Nathan Fillion.